My Boyfriend Is Lazy and Does Nothing. What Should I Do?
**Break up or try to change him? I don’t know what to choose.**
Honestly, I’m leaning more toward weighing the pros and cons—after all, we’ve spent so much time and effort trying to make things work. What I can’t stand right now is his laziness. If we break up, it feels like all that time and energy we invested in adapting to each other will have gone to waste.
But if I try to change him, I’m afraid the success rate is too low. What if I spend several more years on this, get older, and when it finally comes to marriage, he’s still the same? My future would be even harder, and the effort just wouldn’t be worth the outcome.
All he does in his free time is play games. Things that other boyfriends do to make their girlfriends happy—thoughtful gestures, sweet surprises—he never does. When I ask him to do those things, he just says he doesn’t want to, for no reason at all. It’s like he genuinely has no desire to even try. God, it drives me crazy.
Other boyfriends know how to talk, how to flirt, how to say sweet things—like their words are dipped in honey. I see it all over my social media, and honestly, I’m so envious I could die. Meanwhile, my boyfriend can’t even be bothered to think. He doesn’t know how to comfort or sweet-talk a girl. Besides saying “kiss kiss,” he doesn’t say anything else. When I ask him to come up with something romantic, he can’t. When I ask him to post something about me on his social media, he’s too lazy and says he has nothing to post, doesn’t know what to say.
When I see things other boyfriends do to make their girlfriends happy, I show him and ask if he could do something like that for me. And he just says he doesn’t want to, can’t be bothered.
The thing is, what I ask for isn’t even complicated or unreasonable—it’s all pretty normal stuff.
Then I ask him if he could do things like laundry and cooking for me in the future, and he agrees so easily. But in reality, he’s not willing at all. Once, just to test him, I asked if he could wash a pair of socks for me. He absolutely refused. I tell him to learn how to cook—he says okay—but he never actually learns. I get the feeling that since he knows I can’t really check right now whether he can cook or do laundry, he’s just making empty promises.
It’s not like I’m asking him to wait on me hand and foot. I’m genuinely afraid that he’s all talk now—saying he’ll do laundry, cook, whatever—but later he’ll do nothing, know nothing, and I’ll end up being his maid, taking care of him like his mom.
I really don’t know what to do. The bottom line is he lacks follow-through. Tell him to do something, and he won’t do it. He doesn’t want to do anything—just eat, sleep, play games all day. And he knows how to play the system: if he thinks I won’t have a chance to check, he’ll promise anything.
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Many people in a relationship struggle to tell whether they truly love someone or are simply influenced by strong physical attraction. Physical attraction often comes quickly and intensely. It can make your heart race, create emotional dependence, and even make you believe it is love. However, a relationship based only on physical attraction is different […]